The Married VS. The Unmarried

My friend always tells me that I "hate the married people." It makes me laugh. I don't hate them. They just make me bitter. And have you ever realized that they are the absolute worst people to go to about dating advice? You would think that they would be the experts. But, they love to throw out things like, "It will happen when you least expect it." "If it is meant to be, it will be." Single people do not talk to other single people like that. Those are things that only people in relationships say. They have lost touch with reality. Singletons say things like, "Boys/girls are stupid." "Relationships suck." "Why does it have to be so hard?"
I am vowing to you now that when I do become married (please cross your fingers that I do some day), you will never ever ever hear those words come out of my mouth.

Just thought I would share my morning thought.
My next sharing will be about knives and fire.

You Are Now Exiting the Friends Zone!!

FRIENDS! Everybody needs them!


I have been told many times that guys and girls just can't be friends. That inevitably one of them is always wanting a little more. I call BS because I am positive there are many of my male friends that know that they do not want to have to deal with my neurosis (I cant think of how to spell it, dont laugh) and I for sure don't want to deal with their crap.
But, in the situations where at least one longs for the other, do you think it is ever possible to leave the friend zone? Up until about a month ago my answer would be a flat out NO. If I don't feel any kind of spark or attraction in the beginning, I never will. You just can't make chemistry happen. I thought your body knew instantly if it wants to kiss this person or not. And quite honestly, I believe this is true 90% of the time. Chemistry is an amazing thing. You can't control it. It is either there or it isn't.
Now, if at some point there was a spark between you, there is still hope. You got to keep that spark going until this person is ready. This can easily be done by:
1. Holding a glance a tad bit longer than you should.
2. Speaking to her about other chicks as if she is your buddy. She will take this as you have lost interest in her and are comfortable with talking about other chicks around her.
3. Cancel plans here and there.

The key is just to get her thinking.

I have 2 friends. The guy, Ike is in love with Shayna. And Shayna has no interest in ever dating Ike, but she strings him along. Wanna know why? Cause she can. And she likes knowing that someone out there would do anything for her. You want to know where it went wrong for Ike? He didn't get her thinking. He didn't have to. His feelings were always right there for everyone to see. He constantly had to talk to her about his feelings. He would talk to her about other chicks in a negative way. And he talked her friends to death about her.

Isn't it sad that we have to play games? I know that everyone says you shouldn't have to and blah...blah...blah. But, you do. And if you think hard about it, you know I am right. Life is just one big game.

The Gym Part 2

It has been brought to my attention that I need to add a few things to the gym .
"Hope I like the latest entry. You might want to mention in the gym section that guys should not act like know it alls and also should not act like professional body builders in there. Do your exercises, leave your grunting for other activities, have respect for other people working out... ''

Also, please keep in mind that if someone is wearing headphones that means, "please do not hit on me."

Church and the Gym

Here are 2 new places to meet women. My very first question asker mentioned that "women do not go to Church to get hit on." While that might be partially true, I know lots of women that think that would be a great place to meet someone. The trick is to hit on someone without them actually knowing that you are hitting on them. Work slowly. We are all creatures of habit. So, chances are she sits in the same area every week. Sit near her. Get noticed. Also, most churches usually have a few minutes where you are supposed to greet your neighbor. This is a great time to introduce yourself. Also, like I mentioned before, look around for subtle things to comment on. You can do this after church as you are walking out. Maybe comment on the sermon or a meeting that is going to take place. I know that you might feel nervous going to talk to her because you don't want her to think that you are hitting on her, but not all conversations will give that vibe. Remember a few posts ago where I mentioned getting in with the friends? Try that at Church. We can all use new friends. And I am sure at one point there will be an introduction.


Oops I forgot to add. Please remember not to take rejection too personably. You can't help the way you feel. And chemistry is either there or it isn't.

The gym. This is a tough one. Everyone is sweaty in there, so don't worry about that part. I do know that there have been times where I have started chatting on the treadmill with a person near me about whatever is on the TV. I, also, notice that the same people are there at the same time everyday. After silently working out by one another for a few weeks, random conversations start and it just feels like a natural progression. Repetition of seeing people at the gym or even church will build a little bit of trust. Capitalize on that.

I really hope this is somewhat helpful. You are the very first person to ask me something and I don't want to let you down! Let me know how it goes!

But, I'm Shy!

We are all a little shy. Some of us more than others. I am a blusher. And there isn't a cure for that. But, there are ways to help get over the shyness. And I am here to help.
I suggest just starting out easy. Go in for an easy kill. I dont need to explain this to you because I am sure you have all seen them. I have discovered that the best place to start a chat is at the bar while you are waiting for the bartender (and if you live anyplace like I do, you know there is a lot of free time there) Just think of an icebreaker. Comment on the wait time. There are a zillion things you can talk about. If you are at a sports bar ask her if she saw the final score of a game. Just make it a casual comment. You don't have to get creative. And if the bartender comes to you first, defer to her. Chances are this encounter will be quick. And that is okay. Get your feet wet. And remember when you pass her by later say hi or acknowledge her somehow. You never know. She might even want to introduce you to her friends.
Remember that you can't go into a situation thinking a girl is out of your league. I see couples all the time that appear to me mismatched.
I know not all of you are bar goer toers. So, let me know where you have seen women you wanted to talk to and I will come up with a way to approach them.

Wingmen

We all have them. We all need them. thing is we need the other persons wingman as badly as we need our own. Case in point, I used to have this roommate, Niki. She was gorgeous. Men always hit on her. One night we were out at a bar and a guy came up to talk to her. That was fine, but he just talked to her. That is a terrible move. When I finally couldn't take it anymore, I finally said. "You should probably just walk away now." He looked at me blankly. "See, as you have been trying so hard to pick up my beautiful friend here, you made a terrible mistake. You were rude to her friend. I know you aren't interested in me and I am fine with that. But, you don't turn your back to me and ignore me. I think you are rude and the second you walk away, I am going to tell her that. And each time I see you come near us, we will move." He looked at Niki and she politely said, "She is right." See men, if you just pay a little attention to the friends, maybe even flirt a little you will be golden. Because when you walk away, the girls wills will talk kindly of you. And if your girl needed any kind of convincing, you don't have to worry. Those girls will take care of you. trust me.

The Waiting Game

The "Swinger's Rule." You all know it, do I really need to explain it? Just to be safe, I will. In this movie there is a point where they are discussing how long you should wait before you call a girl after getting her number. I haven't seen it in a while, but I recall it being 4 days. 4 DAYS??? Are you kidding me? Remember me telling you that a girl likes to feel special? Waiting 4 days does not make ME feel special. It makes me feel like maybe you didn't like me as much as I thought you did. And while it still might work, it is a hard way to start a relationship. Second guessing before even the first date. I do, however, suggest that if you are in college or younger to wait the 4 days. Competition is heavy and our mindset is a little different. You have to play the game, playa.

One night I met this guy, we spent most of the night just talking. I gave him my phone number and the second I got home my phone rang. Now, I know your first thought is that he was calling for a booty call, but that subject was never approached. He called because he wasn't "finished with our conversation yet." And while that may not work for everyone. It worked for him. In fact, I slept with him on the first date.

And while we are on the subject of calling. Why do you men even bother getting a girls number only to never call? What a waste. What a waste of both of your times. If we talk and you aren't interested or don't want to date me, just don't ask for my number. I will be fine with that. Much better than waiting it out for 4 days to see if you are going to call!